so there are some days in life when after forgetting everything , something does happen again and u get very frightened...that's wot happens with me..i get frightened...coz after so much of trying to leave the past , i want that it should never reflect in my future again and when that happens , i get lost..i dont want to hurt the people again...i dont want to hurt myself again..i want to learn from my past and move on and just try not to do anything like that again...but there is a time in life when u remember ur past and burst out to tears...it happens with me every week...i know that there is going to be a night of the week when everything is gonna come in front of my eyes as if i am watching a movie...and after wot can happen...guess it..ofcouse i cry..but i cnn't cry too loud..i cry silently coz my mom is sleeping next to me...and i dont want to let her know about it...i just cover my mouth with my hand and cry...i even try to scream..that too quietly..lol..u must be wondering screaming quietly..yeah i do...:p...and after all that i think that wot was the use of crying ?....why did i think about all of it..?...and then i sleep..isn't that stupid...but i think that's the only way my mind and my heart release the pain of the week that i had stored...in the morning the first thing i do even before brushing is that i look up to myself in the mirror and say to myself-i am a good person. everything is good in my life. everyone loves me and i thank god for all that he has given me..and i say to him that god whatever u do for me...even if it's bad...i will accept it as a gift...and i start my day like that...right now..currently i am just trying to heal my own self rather than trying to improve my relationship with other's...coz i know till the time i will not be completely pure from the inside , i cann't be present there for other's who need me...
